The Internet is not a big truck

Plumbing the internet since before it was cool

It’s a series of tubes.

Most people know the quote. I’ve spent an entire career figuring out how to move the right customers through them.

I’m Brad Bauer, a global digital marketing leader focused on customer acquisition, lifecycle marketing, personalization, analytics, marketing technology, and AI tools. I build experiences that scale and produce results.

Customer acquisition Lifecycle & CRM Marketing Personalization Measurement & Analytics AI tools MarTech Leadership

Why do I own this domain?

An elected official accidentally made a joke & it has aged surprisingly well.

The domain is a reference to the famous “its a series of tubes” description from Senator Ted Stevens. It became shorthand for how strange the Internet can sound when complex technology is reduced to a simple metaphor.

The irony works for me. Most of my career has been spent connecting systems, data, technology, channels and customer behavior — essentially making sure the right things move through the right tubes.

© 2026 Brad Bauer